PDA

View Full Version : OK, Ladies. You may now ATTACK.



Iddee
Feb 27th 2011, 07:22 AM
Winter Classes for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Mon., January 31, 2011

DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays a t 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons -- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

PerryBee
Feb 27th 2011, 07:29 AM
Move over a bit Iddee, I think you may be too close to me! :mrgreen: :club:

Hobie
Feb 27th 2011, 09:01 AM
You forgot to turn the page of the brochure!

Fall Classes for Men at the Adult Learning Center

Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, class sizes will be limited to 8 participants maximum.

1. How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

2. The Toilet Paper Roll—Does it Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

3. Is it Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

4. Fundamental Differences between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

5. Dinner Dishes—Can They Levitate and Fly into the Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

6. Loss of Identity—Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

7. Learning How to Find Things—Starting with Looking in the Right Places and Not Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

8. Health Watch—Bringing Her Flowers is Not Harmful to Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

9. Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost.
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

10. Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

11. Learning to Live—Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

12. How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

13. How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy—Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

14. The Stove/Oven—What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

(Attack complete! :lol: )

PerryBee
Feb 27th 2011, 09:49 AM
Hobie, you may be a little too close to me, please go stand next to Iddee! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

srvfantexasflood
Feb 27th 2011, 02:27 PM
This is getting good. Next?

rast
Feb 27th 2011, 06:31 PM
You forgot to turn the page of the brochure!

Fall Classes for Men at the Adult Learning Center

Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, class sizes will be limited to 8 participants maximum.

1. How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Tell your wife they are empty, much easier than cleaning up the one you split.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

2. The Toilet Paper Roll—Does it Change Itself? No, women use 3/4 of toilet paper used.
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

3. Is it Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Depends on age and if seat is in it's proper up position (only applies to city guys).
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

4. Fundamental Differences between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor When the hamper is full, that's all that's left
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

5. Dinner Dishes—Can They Levitate and Fly into the Kitchen Sink? No, the wife should carry them to eliminate the 2 hrs. of crying over her Grandmothers broken dish
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

6. Loss of Identity—Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other. It is not lost, it's in it's improper place. Especially on sports days.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

7. Learning How to Find Things—Starting with Looking in the Right Places and Not Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming. Don't move everything I lay down on the pretense of neatening.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

8. Health Watch—Bringing Her Flowers is Not Harmful to Your Health This is quite true, just pick up the phone and have them delivered, as long as you are reminded what the occasion is.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

9. Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost. Perhap's, never been lost, just taking a longer sightseeing route.
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

10. Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? If she is driving your truck, yes.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

11. Learning to Live—Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. PG13, remember?
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

12. How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Stay home unless hardware store is involved, then help her write her list so you can be in and out of her stores quickly.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

13. How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy—Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to Be Late. We do remember important dates, Daytona 500, Superbowl, etc. If we call every time it becomes expected.l
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

14. The Stove/Oven—What It Is and How It Is Used. The second reason for marrying you and this can become # 1 with age.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

(Attack complete! :lol: )

Hobie
Feb 28th 2011, 06:10 AM
Touche!