May 23rd 2012, 12:05 AM
911-hornets nest & a swat team....
i have had murphy’s law going on for the past couple weeks, including my bees, but my murphy’s law does not compare to this….
a preface, i also own a home in ‘rural suburbia’ of the city, an old neighborhood. my neighbors in this suburbia are just as colorful as my rural neighbors, and then some, and just to outline the picture a bit, these homes were built in the early 1950’s, are all rambler type homes, all built similar, sitting on ½ to 1 acres of very wooded lots, you will understand as you read the post. Btw, if you are a beekeeper, you will most likely receive all types of phone calls from your neighbors about ‘come look at these bees.’
early this a.m., neighbor 2 doors down calls, wants me to come look at a ‘bee nest’ in a tree near his house, so i wander down there, yep, he has a hornet’s nest, big massive, oversized and then some. basketball type thing going on and hornets busy coming and going. he and his visiting brother have a ladder out and a baseball bat at the ready. piñata type thinking they are going to knock it down; he wants it gone and wants me to help. LOL, not to bright and i ‘educate’ them both about standing on a ladder with a baseball bat surrounded by thousands of stinging insects. have at it, but I’m not standing around. said I would help him take it down after dark. i wander back home.
Not the end.
calls me back, “well what if i hit it with a pellet gun or some 22 shot”, so i say, bob, you won’t be sitting on your patio tonight having a beer with your brother if you do that, “uh, yeah okay, didn’t think of that”.
Not the end.
calls me back again, “well what if i sprayed the snot(not the word he used) out of it with a hose”, well you could do that but you will have really mad wet hornets, and you won’t be sitting out on your patio tonight having a beer with your brother, leave it alone i’ll come help you get it down after dark. “uh, yeah, okay are you sure water won’t kill ‘em?.” i said it won’t kill them, and asked him if he was allergic to stinging insects, or liked being stung…..”dunno”. well, you could try that and find out, and you won’t be enjoying a beer on your patio tonight with your brother. “aw yeah, good point.”
Not the end.
there is no mistaking the sound of a shotgun blast….or two, or three.
one shotgun blast,
two shotgun blasts.
three shotgun blasts.
some whooping and yelling about the huge scattered hornet’s nest now blown to smithereens and laying all over the yard…..then i hear some very colorful language. bob managed to escape in the house with a few stings and hornets flying around in the house, but mike did not, and was blowing past me for a neighbor’s pool, with hornets on him and in pursuit.
phone call from me to bob on his cell phone (all he has)….no answer. i get closer to the house and OMG, hornets thick and everywhere, there must have been a nest in the tree, or another nest. bob yells at me through his screen door not to come any closer his cell phone is outside on the patio (as is the shotgun). asks me where mike is, so i tell him he went for the neighbors pool and I offer to go see if he’s okay, and bob bravados about them blasting the nest. i can barely see him through the hornets all over the side of the house, and screen door.
i look down the street and see 2 squad cars blocking the street, look up the street, same. i see a truck roll up and a ‘commando unit’ file out in full swat gear wearing and cradling some impressive firepower.
well i forgot all about mike. grab a lawn chair and a glass of iced tea , out the end of my driveway i sit, and think this is entertainment i don’t want to miss. of course the swat team is not impressed with my casual appearance of ‘shots fired’…..so very serious questions and warnings follow.
hypothetically i say, ( not to incriminate the two brothers), a hornet’s nest, and a shotgun would explain the 911 call. my driveway becomes a ‘staging area’ and some of my neighbors are now in my driveway to the officers dismay. i hear and see swat yelling at bob who is in the house to come out……bob hollers back “are you blankety-blank crazy, i am not coming out”……this is not what you say to a swat team, because you will come out…….. however the swat team, as they ‘close in’, has now realized there are angry hornets flying everywhere recently blasted with a shotgun. “does he have a phone”, no it’s laying on the patio, a pause and some conversation, so i tell an officer just tell him to go out the door to the garage(no back doors to these houses). so they did and bob says “uh yeah, okay, I’ll be out in a minute!”
About mike, the visiting brother. (enter the paramedics)
mike shows up soaking wet in my driveway from the neighbors pool, and he doesn’t look so good, being stung and all, and says so, and nearly passes out. so the swat team calls the paramedics. meanwhile, bob is now sheepishly explaining about the escapade with the hornet’s nest to the swat guy in charge, and the swat guy wants the ‘evidence’; the shotgun laying in the yard, covered in hornet’s and bob mentions i am a beekeeper. i get a hard look and get voted to recover the ‘evidence’. i am a beekeeper with a veil, not a hornet keeper, and would be happy to equip any of the officers with that veil to retrieve the hornet covered shotgun laying in the yard with hornets flying about stinging mad looking for the person that blew the nest apart.
Enter the fire department.
the swat team calls the fire department, and the fire department shows up with a couple guys donning hazmat suits, and i think a pair of coveralls. i give them the veil, and the fire department blasts the yard with water, and retrieves the infamous shotgun. mike goes to the emergency room and bob goes to the back of a squad car. bob wants to talk to me and look after his dog, and my last words to him were, well, i told you, you wouldn’t be sitting out on the patio tonight having a beer with your brother.
so my two weeks of murphy’s law does not even come close to this…
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to riverbee For This Useful Post:
May 23rd 2012, 03:12 AM
Well you tried to warn them. Good story and one things for sure, they'll not try that again. Will they?
May 23rd 2012, 03:12 AM
May 23rd 2012, 05:57 AM
Ha! Great story, thanks for sharing....I have seen some of the most unimaginable things in my career...anything is truly possible...
May 23rd 2012, 06:08 AM
I love it. Thanks for the post.
May 23rd 2012, 06:10 AM
That does certainly trump a couple of "murphy" weeks
2013 has been the year of Queens so far
May 23rd 2012, 06:55 AM
May 23rd 2012, 08:31 AM
May 23rd 2012, 10:29 AM
thanks everyone, wayne, these two guys are capable of anything, but may not blast a hornet's nest again unless it's from inside the house. i have known them for about 20 years (and their folks, now passed on) and when they get together, there is always some shenanigan's it's not the first time the police have been to the house.....
"I have seen some of the most unimaginable things in my career". dave, i thought you would appreciate this story, i have seen some incredible stuff as well in my prior career. the funny part is telling both of them they wouldn't be sitting on the patio catching up, having a couple of beers later in the day if they messed with the nest, meaning language they understood, rather than talking them out of it, and also, couldn't help but laugh at just the sheer shreds of the nest scattered all over the yard.
i am sure the city will send them a hefty bill for the fire departments arrival, not to mention some miscellaneous charges for the shotgun blasts in city limits, although there is no legal charge for 'misdemeanor stupidity'
May 23rd 2012, 12:10 PM
That was too funny... I wish you recorded the whole thing
May 23rd 2012, 02:59 PM
Great story, thanks for sharing that!!
May 26th 2012, 08:54 AM
Too funny. That would make for an entire episode on "Beekeepings funniest home videos."
May 28th 2012, 09:49 PM
thanks everyone, it was funny and still is some good neighborhood laughs. a bit of an update. i wound up taking bob's beautiful chocolate lab to the emergency vet, she'd been stung a number of times on the nose and tongue, running around the house snapping at flying hornets. the swelling concerned me, but the vet took care of her. so a vet bill to add to the expenses. bob spent a few hours at the police department and mike spent the night in the hospital under observation for all the stings he took, and a visit from the police department. they will most likely need an attorney, so another expense.
i missed some of this the next couple days, my neighbors tell me the two brothers got into a "brotherly fistfight' over the shotgun? (probably more to it than that), so the same lady that called the police the first time called again, apparently the brothers were making a little noise about it. the neighbors tell me, when the police showed up, bob and mike had their arms across one anothers shoulders and were grinning from ear to ear, mike's face already swollen, sporting a would be shiner and a bloody lip, and bob a bloody nose, with tape applied to it this evening. tonight, when i saw them (mike with a nice shiner and bob with a broken nose), both smiling and enjoying a beer and a bonfire on bob's patio. incredible, like nothing ever happened, but did thank me, said they were sorry but couldn't resist the temptation of blasting a hornet's nest. mike leaves on sunday, gee i sure will miss the excitement until next time.....
May 28th 2012, 11:22 PM
All's well that ends well.
Proud member of the Beekeeping Forums,
From the land flowing with milk and HONEY
May 28th 2012, 11:56 PM
I read this to the guys at work and we are all laughing so hard we are crying!
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