A Beekeeper at Christmas

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Papakeith, Dec 24, 2013.

  1. Papakeith

    Papakeith New Member

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    Christmas was nigh with temps in the 50s
    How can this be that the temps rose so quickly?
    Just yesterday I mused, “I was all hunkered down.â€
    In my favorite recliner and a comforter of down
    With a glass full of ‘nog’ and the fire burning hot
    Thoughts of venturing outside?…No, I think not!
    With the now balmy weather I had to take care
    Of the bees who’d been clustered in the cold, out there!

    I knew at that moment, just what to do
    I grabbed 5 lbs. of sugar and a cup of water too!
    With those two in hand, plus a bowl and a large wooden spoon
    My wife added in, “Please honey, please don’t mess up the room!â€
    I scoffed at her please, no worries, calm down
    “I’ll be careful, I promise. Seriously, I’m no clown.â€
    I headed to the counter, my ingredients in tow
    My confidence, my skills in beekeeping I’ll show

    Keeping my promise? It wasn’t to be
    Simply opening the bag sprayed its contents on me
    And not without trying it seems, I was able
    To slosh most the water all over the table
    The bowl was still empty to my growing chagrin
    I vowed, “No more missing. Let the mixing begin.â€
    I filled up the bowl with the remaining sugary bits
    I mixed and a folded with occasional licks
    “The worst part is behind meâ€, I started to think
    Who knew at that moment I was standing on the brink…
    of throwing the bowl ‘cross the kitchen with force
    It wasn’t really a throw… It was more of a toss
    Seems the mess I’d made prior to mixing had gelled
    And caused the bowl and the table to weld
    I pulled and I tugged on the bowl to no avail
    That one last tug, however, caused the doomed bowl to sail
    I did try to stop it. I clawed and reacted
    No matter, my middle aged reflexes weren’t active
    It flew ‘cross the kitchen and in time came to rest
    Walls, counters and floors covered; ‘twas a terrible mess

    “It can’t get any worseâ€, I thought as I took in the sight
    No, not quite. Not by a long shot….In walked my wife!
    Her brow furrowed deeply, arms crossed, foot a-tappin’
    I thought, “Should have stayed on the couch and got my whole nap in.â€
    I looked rather sheepish wooden spoon still in hand
    I waited, waited, waited… for the coming reprimand
    But the storm slowly faded from her face. Her muscles tensed a bit less
    “A child I’ve married. Now Please! Clean up this mess!â€

    A sly smile escaped as she took in the sight
    “I guess it’s not that bad I’ll help you clean it up right.â€
    She provided clean towels, a bucket, and even a mop
    I couldn’t believe she was helping me clean up the slop!
    With deft quickness she maneuvered from mess to the sink
    She even paused once or twice to give me a wink
    “Your girls’ best appreciate my cleaning the mess and the gooâ€
    “I’m sureâ€, I opined “that they certainly doâ€
    We worked at the mess ‘til the last speck was gone
    Then, with her help, a mess free mix was born
    We dried it ‘til hardened then dispensed it outside
    To the bees huddled tightly inside of their hives

    But wait, I’d forgotten the temp it had risen
    The girls were out in force on a hive cleaning mission
    I figured I’d just lift the top up for a peek. Drop the sugar in, and be gone tout sweet!
    It seems my good fortune extended well past the kitchen, just by lifting the top the bees, the bees changed their mission.
    It seemed now I was their focus as I ducked bobbed and weaved
    The Mrs. I’d angered but the Misses I’d peeved
    I left the scene screaming - a buzzing cloud quick in tow
    The girls didn’t get that No really means NO!
    They kept up their assault for a good 30 yards
    Who knew that I could run that distance so hard?
    The assault lessened a bit but I kept up my guard
    I kept trying to outrun the girl’s tiny barbs
    Once reaching the house I flopped down on the floor
    I wailed to my wife, “Honey!!! Shut and lock the door!â€
    Resting now on the couch with Calamine and tea
    I couldn't help but wonder why I started keeping bee

    Oh well, lesson learned. I’ll not do that again
    Maybe by spring the bees and I will be friends

    My wife by the way recorded the whole darned boondoogle
    Its searchable, knowing her, on both Bing and on Google

    May your supers be full and so too all of your deeps
    Merry Christmas to one and all of my beekeeping peeps.
  2. kebee

    kebee Active Member

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    Ha Ha and a very merry Christmas to you and all here on the forum and may GOD bless you with many more healthy ones.


  3. efmesch

    efmesch Active Member

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    :goodpost: Bees will be bees --at any and all seasons of the year. Great post PapaKeith and best wishses to you and all for a great season ahead.