A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by Eddy Honey, May 20, 2013.

  1. Eddy Honey

    Eddy Honey New Member

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    A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

    'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'

    *******************************
    ... MALE PROCEDURE:

    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Lower car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Close car window.
    7. Drive off.

    *******************************

    FEMALE PROCEDURE:

    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
    8. Insert card.
    9. Re-insert card the right way.
    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
    11. Enter PIN.
    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
    13. Enter amount of cash required.
    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
    18. Re-check makeup.
    19. Drive forward 2 feet.
    20. Reverse back to cash machine.
    21. Retrieve card.
    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
    25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
    27. Release parking brake.
     
  2. riverbee

    riverbee Active Member

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    ...........:lol:
     

  3. Slowmodem

    Slowmodem New Member

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    I still haven't figured out why there's braille on the buttons for the drive thru ATM. :confused:
     
  4. gunsmith

    gunsmith New Member

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    Heck Greg, look around the next time you are driving around. I swear that half the people on the road are blind. :lol:
     
  5. Gypsi

    Gypsi Super Moderator Staff Member

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    awwww, nope, the guy is so busy giving advice he sticks his atm card in the machine, puts in his pin, talks and talks and talks and the atm eats his card. Then he cusses the bank and goes to a different one. (true story.)