A place for one liners......

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by BjornBee, Nov 19, 2009.

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  1. Nov 19, 2009 #1
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    How did copper wire get invented?

    Two lawyers were fighting over a penny. :drinks:
     
    BjornBee, Nov 19, 2009
    BjornBee, Nov 19, 2009
  3. Nov 21, 2009 #2
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    Know why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder?

    DNA is all the same and there ain't no dental records....
     
    BjornBee, Nov 21, 2009
    BjornBee, Nov 21, 2009

  5. Nov 21, 2009 #3
    Iddee

    Iddee New Member

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    Sorry, I don't know any "clean" one liners. :shock:
     
    Iddee, Nov 21, 2009
    Iddee, Nov 21, 2009
  6. Nov 21, 2009 #4
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    Oh come on iddee....they are easy. Redneck one's are easy.

    A redneck died and left his entire estate to his beloved widow.
    But she can't touch it till she turns 14. :thumbsup:
     
    BjornBee, Nov 21, 2009
    BjornBee, Nov 21, 2009
  7. Nov 21, 2009 #5
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    They recently had to pass a law in South Carolina to set the record straight once and for all.

    Yes, even after the divorce, you are still considered cousins....... :hi:
     
    BjornBee, Nov 21, 2009
    BjornBee, Nov 21, 2009
  8. Nov 22, 2009 #6
    Hobie

    Hobie New Member

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    Two peanuts were walking down the road, and one was a salted.
     
    Hobie, Nov 22, 2009
    Hobie, Nov 22, 2009
  9. Nov 25, 2009 #7
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    Todays joke of the day....

    What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife.....

    45 pounds!
     
    BjornBee, Nov 25, 2009
    BjornBee, Nov 25, 2009
  10. Nov 26, 2009 #8
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    The family that sticks together.......

    should bathe more often. :eek:
     
    BjornBee, Nov 26, 2009
    BjornBee, Nov 26, 2009
  11. Nov 26, 2009 #9
    Charles

    Charles New Member

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    I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila. :drinks:
     
    Charles, Nov 26, 2009
    Charles, Nov 26, 2009
  12. Nov 27, 2009 #10
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common.....

    Someone is going to lose a mobile home.... :thumbsup:
     
    BjornBee, Nov 27, 2009
    BjornBee, Nov 27, 2009
  13. Nov 28, 2009 #11
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    How come when a man says something dirty, it's sexual harassment? But when a girl says something dirty....it's 3.99 a minute....... :eek:
     
    BjornBee, Nov 28, 2009
    BjornBee, Nov 28, 2009
  14. Nov 28, 2009 #12
    Charles

    Charles New Member

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    Oldy but a goody:

    Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
     
    Charles, Nov 28, 2009
    Charles, Nov 28, 2009
  15. Dec 3, 2009 #13
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    Don't grab a rock when you see someone living in a glass house.....get a camera! :thumbsup:
     
    BjornBee, Dec 3, 2009
    BjornBee, Dec 3, 2009
  16. Dec 6, 2009 #14
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    How do you make a dishwasher into a snowblower?

    Give her a shovel..... ;)
     
    BjornBee, Dec 6, 2009
    BjornBee, Dec 6, 2009
  17. Dec 6, 2009 #15
    Hobie

    Hobie New Member

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    (I see Bjorn running with shovel-wielding wife in hot pursuit!)
     
    Hobie, Dec 6, 2009
    Hobie, Dec 6, 2009
  18. Dec 8, 2009 #16
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    A day's work for a chicken but a lifetime commitment for a pig.....

    What is....Ham and eggs!

    :wave:
     
    BjornBee, Dec 8, 2009
    BjornBee, Dec 8, 2009
  19. Dec 9, 2009 #17
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    The fight we had last night was not my fualt....

    She asked me what was on T.V., and I said "Dust!". :D
     
    BjornBee, Dec 9, 2009
    BjornBee, Dec 9, 2009
  20. Dec 10, 2009 #18
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did -- in his sleep.
    Not screaming like the passengers in his car
     
    BjornBee, Dec 10, 2009
    BjornBee, Dec 10, 2009
  21. Dec 15, 2009 #19
    BjornBee

    BjornBee Active Member

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    When the chips are down....the buffalo is empty.
     
    BjornBee, Dec 15, 2009
    BjornBee, Dec 15, 2009
  22. Dec 15, 2009 #20
    Charles

    Charles New Member

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    Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.
     
    Charles, Dec 15, 2009
    Charles, Dec 15, 2009
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