A place for one liners......

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by BjornBee, Nov 19, 2009.

  1. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    How did copper wire get invented?

    Two lawyers were fighting over a penny. :drinks:
     
  2. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    Know why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder?

    DNA is all the same and there ain't no dental records....
     

  3. Iddee

    Iddee New Member

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    Sorry, I don't know any "clean" one liners. :shock:
     
  4. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    Oh come on iddee....they are easy. Redneck one's are easy.

    A redneck died and left his entire estate to his beloved widow.
    But she can't touch it till she turns 14. :thumbsup:
     
  5. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    They recently had to pass a law in South Carolina to set the record straight once and for all.

    Yes, even after the divorce, you are still considered cousins....... :hi:
     
  6. Hobie

    Hobie New Member

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    Two peanuts were walking down the road, and one was a salted.
     
  7. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    Todays joke of the day....

    What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife.....

    45 pounds!
     
  8. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    The family that sticks together.......

    should bathe more often. :eek:
     
  9. Charles

    Charles New Member

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    I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila. :drinks:
     
  10. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common.....

    Someone is going to lose a mobile home.... :thumbsup:
     
  11. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    How come when a man says something dirty, it's sexual harassment? But when a girl says something dirty....it's 3.99 a minute....... :eek:
     
  12. Charles

    Charles New Member

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    Oldy but a goody:

    Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
     
  13. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    Don't grab a rock when you see someone living in a glass house.....get a camera! :thumbsup:
     
  14. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    How do you make a dishwasher into a snowblower?

    Give her a shovel..... ;)
     
  15. Hobie

    Hobie New Member

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    (I see Bjorn running with shovel-wielding wife in hot pursuit!)
     
  16. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    A day's work for a chicken but a lifetime commitment for a pig.....

    What is....Ham and eggs!

    :wave:
     
  17. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    The fight we had last night was not my fualt....

    She asked me what was on T.V., and I said "Dust!". :D
     
  18. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did -- in his sleep.
    Not screaming like the passengers in his car
     
  19. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

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    When the chips are down....the buffalo is empty.
     
  20. Charles

    Charles New Member

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    Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.