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ABSTINENCE

A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We

have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain

from sex for an entire month."



The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks, returned

To the church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was

crying, and the husband obviously was very depressed.



"You are back so soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor

inquired.

"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain

from sex for the required month," the young man replied sadly.



The pastor asked him what happened.



"Well, the first week was difficult; however, we managed to

abstain through sheer willpower.

The second week was terrible, but with the use of

prayer, we managed to abstain.

The third week, however, was unbearable. We tried

cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible, or anything to keep

our minds free of carnal thoughts.



But one afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and

dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I noticed that she didn't

have panties on and I was overcome with lust and I had my way with her,

right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly.



"You understand this means you will not be welcome into our

church," stated the pastor.



"We know," said the young man, hanging his head.

"We're not welcome at Lowe's anymore, either.
 
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