Costco doctor

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by Iddee, Aug 9, 2011.

  1. Iddee

    Iddee New Member

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    Costco doctor!

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria,
    Joe says to Mike behind him,
    "My elbow hurts like heck. I guess
    I'd better see a doctor."
    "Listen, you don't have to spend
    that kind of money,"
    Mike replies


    "There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco.
    Just give it a urine sample and the computer
    will tell you what's wrong and
    what to do about it.

    It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars -
    A lot cheaper than a doctor."
    So, Joe deposits a urine sample
    in a small jar and takes it
    to Costco.

    He deposits ten dollars and the computer
    lights up and asks for the urine sample...
    He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer
    ejects a printout:

    "You have tennis elbow.
    Soak your arm in warm water and
    avoid heavy activity..
    It will improve in two weeks.
    Thank you for shopping @ Costco.."

    That evening, while thinking how amazing
    this new technology was, Joe began
    wondering if the computer
    could be fooled.




    He mixed some tap water,
    a stool sample from his dog,
    urine samples from his wife and daughter, and
    a sperm sample from himself
    for good measure.
    Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to
    check the results..
    He deposits ten dollars,
    pours in his concoction, and
    awaits the results .




    The computer prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard.
    Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

    2. Your dog has ringworm..
    Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit.
    Get her into rehab.

    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins.
    They aren't yours..
    Get a lawyer.

    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself,
    your elbow will never get better



    Thank you for shopping @ Costco!