GM vs Bill Gates.....

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by riverbee, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. riverbee

    riverbee Active Member

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    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, or frustration..... read on.

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
    "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

    In response to Bill's comments, GM issued a press release stating:
    "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:"

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this and drive on.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, alternator and other warning lights would all be replaced by "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" , "Operator Error", "Lost Data"; and further... "BSOD" would replace the check engine warning light.

    7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

    11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more.

    and last but not least:

    12. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

    :lol:
     
  2. PerryBee

    PerryBee New Member

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    :lol: :rolling: :rotfl::thumbsup: Too funny.
     

  3. Barbarian

    Barbarian New Member

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    Brilliant ------- :rolling::rolling:
     
  4. Slowmodem

    Slowmodem New Member

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    ROFL That's great! (sadly, it's true, too)
     
  5. ApisBees

    ApisBees Active Member

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    Thanks river great post sad fact but funny.
     
  6. efmesch

    efmesch Active Member

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    .....And after the car would be five years old, mechanics would no longer be able to get help for their problems from the manufacturer when trying to make a repair.
     
  7. riverbee

    riverbee Active Member

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    ef-
    ".....And after the car would be five years old, mechanics would no longer be able to get help for their problems from the manufacturer when trying to make a repair."

    ef, i think that would classify as a REFORMAT......?! :lol:
     
  8. bamabww

    bamabww Active Member

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    That's a good analysis and funny as well.