Greeting Card Writer has a bad day

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by Slowmodem, Jan 29, 2013.

  1. Slowmodem

    Slowmodem New Member

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    I ran across this in an old email and thought I'd share it. :D





    Ever wondered what happens when greeting card writers are having a bad day........



    My tire was thumping.

    I thought it was flat

    When I looked at the tire...

    I noticed your cat.

    Sorry!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    Heard your wife left you,

    How upset you must be.

    But don't fret about it...

    She moved in with me.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Looking back over the years

    that we've been together,

    I can't help but wonder...

    "What the hell was I thinking?"


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Congratulations on your wedding day!

    Too bad no one likes your husband.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    How could two people as beautiful as you

    Have such an ugly baby?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I've always wanted to have

    someone to hold,

    someone to love.

    After having met you ..

    I've changed my mind.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

    I never believed in Hell until I met you.

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

    That you're not here to ruin it for me.


    ####################################################

    Congratulations on your promotion.

    Before you go...

    Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

    You'll probably need it again.


    ********************************************************************************

    Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

    (Available only in certain regions)


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

    Almost Lifelike!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    When we were together,

    you always said you'd die for me.

    Now that we've broken up,

    I think it's time you kept your promise.

    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    We have been friends for a very long time ..

    let's say we stop?

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    I'm so miserable without you

    it's almost like you're here.


    =====================================================

    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

    Did you ever find out who the father was?


    %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

    Your friends and I wanted to do

    something special for your birthday.

    So we're having you put to sleep.


    ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


    So your daughter's a hooker,

    and it spoiled your day.

    Look at the bright side,

    it's really good pay
     
  2. ApisBees

    ApisBees Active Member

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    I could use a couple of these, maybe forward them to hallmark
     

  3. bamabww

    bamabww Active Member

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    Good one, several i haven't heard before.
     
  4. Nenno from Ork

    Nenno from Ork New Member

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    That was great, probably going to steal some of these.
     
  5. tefer2

    tefer2 New Member

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