Helga's Cruise Ship Diary

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by Iddee, Sep 28, 2011.

  1. Iddee

    Iddee New Member

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    DAY 1:
    Dear Diary,
    All packed for the cruise ship -- my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. I'm very excited. Our local Red Hat chapter planned this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one, and I can't wait!

    DAY 2:
    Dear Diary,
    Spent the entire day at sea. Beautiful! Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man.

    DAY 3:
    Dear Diary,
    At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

    DAY 4:
    Dear Diary,
    Won $800.00 in the ship's casino! Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal, complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

    DAY 5:
    Dear Diary,
    Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.
    Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship. I was shocked!

    DAY 6:
    Dear Diary,
    Today I saved 1600 lives. Twice.