Hey, Tec. How Dry Is It In Texas?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by Iddee, Sep 1, 2011.

  1. Iddee

    Iddee New Member

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    How Dry Is It In Texas?

    A buddy out of Longview, Texas, said he'd killed a mosquito that was carrying a canteen.

    A man in Dime Box, Texas, said the chicken farmers were giving the chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

    In Lake Palestine Texas, they caught a 20 lb. catfish that had ticks on it!

    It's so dry in Texas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.

    Now THAT's Dry!
     
  2. Walt B

    Walt B New Member

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    The cows next door are giving evaporated milk.

    Walt
     

  3. efmesch

    efmesch Active Member

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    Has the artificial grass disintegrated yet?
     
  4. Walt B

    Walt B New Member

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    Don't know about the artificial grass, but I'm pretty sure I heard a tree whistle for a dog. :)

    Walt
     
  5. crackerbee

    crackerbee New Member

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    It's so dry in Texas:

    Its so dry, I seen a coyote chasin' a rabbit and they was both walkin'.
    Its so dry, yesterday my wormy dog was draggin' his rear end and set my grass on fire!
    It's so dry in Baytown, the councilmen renamed it Dune.
    It's so dry, I ate a popsicle and all it was , was wood.
    It's so dry, they are seeding the clouds with photographs of dry ice.
    It's so dry, dry docks are poppin' up in the middle of lakes.
    It's so dry, "The Dog Days of Summer" is now a horror movie
    It hasn't rained so long in Texas... everyone's sense of humor is dry.(including Tec's :lol: )
    It's so dry, the martinis aren't.
    It's so dry, even the dust devils are praying for rain.
    It's so dry, I had a mosquito ask for a glass of water!
    It's so dry, I have to lick my fingers, to lick my fingers, to turn a page.
    It's so dry, two clouds were spotted at the local vocational school signing up for another profession...no future in the rain biz
    It's so dry, Dry Gulch, Texas has been renamed Very Dry Gulch.
     
  6. tecumseh

    tecumseh New Member

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    very funny... and it is almost that dry here.

    and believe it or not there are real places called Dime Box and Mule Shoe here in Texas. One of my favorite little places is Snook Texas... I am not sure what the official population of the place really is (blink and you miss everything) but once a year the population swells to 30000 when they have a week end chili fest. And just to give you some idea of a true Texans sense of humor.... West, Texas ain't in west Texas.
     
  7. Iddee

    Iddee New Member

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    Talk about town names.

    High Point, NC is between Horney town, NC and Climax, NC.
     
  8. crackerbee

    crackerbee New Member

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    Tec you left out "Tarzan" Tx. and "Ding Dong" Tx....... :rolling: :rotfl: :rolling: :rotfl:
     
  9. Walt B

    Walt B New Member

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    Cracker, I had forgotten about "Ding Dong". Was getting directions from Parks and Wildlife to a ranch where we were doing a youth program, and the woman said it was west of Ding Dong.

    She wondered why I thought that was funny, and I said that, aside from the name, it was in "Bell" county.

    Walt
     
  10. tecumseh

    tecumseh New Member

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    and not far down the road from where Walt B lives is Satin, Texas.

    yep we not only got dry here I think in the past Texans had a dry sense of humor.
     
  11. efmesch

    efmesch Active Member

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    Is it true that Texas wineries produce dry wine in powder form?
     
  12. tecumseh

    tecumseh New Member

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    I like that idea.

    it does look like we are beyond our 100+ degree days. a lot of wind today and a huge amount of dirt in the air.
     
  13. me2pl

    me2pl New Member

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    there used to be a place called Hazard, Texas; at least there was on that AAA map.