I'm not green

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by efmesch, Nov 22, 2011.

  1. efmesch

    efmesch Active Member

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    I got this from an old friend, thought some you might appreciate reading it:




    The Green Thing

    Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

    The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."

    The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

    She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

    Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

    We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

    Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day.

    Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then.

    We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.

    Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

    But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

    Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smartass young person.

    Remember: Don't make old people mad.

    We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.
    #####

    :mrgreen:
     
  2. gunsmith

    gunsmith New Member

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    :goodpost:

    Love it, EF. I've got a similar one in my files-if I can figure out how to do it, I will post it here.
     

  3. gunsmith

    gunsmith New Member

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    Here it is, "A stunning moment."

    A very self important college freshman, attending a recent football game,
    took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen, sitting next to him how
    it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

    "You grew up in a different world, actually, an almost primitive one," the
    student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young
    people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man
    walking on the moon, our space ships have visited Mars. We have nuclear
    energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing
    ...and," pausing to take another drink of beer.

    The senior took advantage of the break in the students litany and said,
    "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young....
    so we invented them.... Now, you arrogent little s#%t, what are you doing
    for the next generation?"

    The applause was resounding......
     
  4. efmesch

    efmesch Active Member

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    :goodpost: Gunsmith, You placed the cherry on the cake.
     
  5. PerryBee

    PerryBee New Member

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    :lol: :rolling: :rotfl:
    You won't believe how timely these have been. This morning as I was taking my 9 year old son to school I said "Hey, it's -7 C outside, don't you think you might like to put on a coat?"
    The look I got and the reply, "I'm not cold, I don't need a coat".
    My reply was "that's fine, what was I thinking, I'm just a dumb old guy with 53 years experience, how could I possibly know as much as a 9 year old".
    I swear he believes he actually knows more than I do. :eek: :shock: (maybe he does, maybe I'm slipping and am too old to realize it!)
     
  6. Slowmodem

    Slowmodem New Member

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    If a person could figure out how to make young ones listen, and they were able to bottle it, they'd be richer than Bill Gates.