The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to
offer an early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement, a
bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose
what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from
the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at
six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked
to be measured from the tip of his up-stretched hands to his
toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non officer, a grizzly an old Master Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to
reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous
two officers had received. But the old Master Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Master Chief to "drop'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape
measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work
My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Master Chief calmly replied . . "Vietnam".