jokes

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by dogsoldier13, Jun 19, 2009.

  1. dogsoldier13

    dogsoldier13 New Member

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    you guys know that jokes with a slant are accepted :?
     
  2. Iddee

    Iddee New Member

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    But when slanted toward beekeepers, they have to slant to the positive side. We are prejudiced. All beeks are better than non-beeks. That's why we are trying to convert all non-believers. :p :p :p :)
     

  3. dogsoldier13

    dogsoldier13 New Member

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  4. ski

    ski New Member

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    The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to
    offer an early retirement bonus.

    They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement, a
    bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
    between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose
    what those two points would be.

    The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from
    the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at
    six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

    The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked
    to be measured from the tip of his up-stretched hands to his
    toes. He walked out with $96,000.

    The third one was a non officer, a grizzly an old Master Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."

    It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to
    reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous
    two officers had received. But the old Master Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

    The medical officer arrived and instructed the Master Chief to "drop'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape
    measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work
    back.

    My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

    The old Master Chief calmly replied . . "Vietnam".
     
  5. Charles

    Charles New Member

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    Never mess with a Master Chief! They are all been there done that salty dogs :)