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Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it
again, Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"

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The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. At French
Customs, he fumbled for his passport. "You 've been to France before,
monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Zen, you should know enough to 'ave your passport ready for
inspection."

The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. You Americans alwayz 'ave to show your passports on
arrival in France!"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he

quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44, I
couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."

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During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy
back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced
colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as
he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the
keys, "Yours is."

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