New Economic Stimulus Plan

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by Slowmodem, Aug 10, 2013.

  1. Slowmodem

    Slowmodem New Member

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    Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
    This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

    Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
    A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

    Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
    A. From taxpayers.

    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
    A. Only a smidgen of it.

    Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
    A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

    Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
    A. Shut up.

    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:


    * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .

    * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

    * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India,Taiwan or China .

    * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..

    * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

    * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

    * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

    Instead, keep the money in America by:
    1) Spending it at yard sales, or
    2) Going to ball games, or
    3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
    4) Beer or
    5) Tattoos.

    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

    Conclusion:
    Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

    No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help. :grin:
     
  2. PerryBee

    PerryBee New Member

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    :lol: :rolling: :rotfl:
     

  3. ApisBees

    ApisBees Active Member

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    How sadly true Greg. Us in the Canadian Tundra Division have responsible government that doesn't waste our tax dollars.:dash1:. If you don't believe me ask my buddy Perry.
     
  4. PerryBee

    PerryBee New Member

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    :lol: :rolling: :rotfl:
     
  5. Ray

    Ray Member

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    Slowmodem, I enjoy your BEEKEEPING post immensely!
     
  6. tecumseh

    tecumseh New Member

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    actually there is a lot of truth to your post. you can make somewhat the same argument for what helps you own local economy vs the economy of another region.

    for some time I have bought various things from resale shops. this 'stuff' may not be made here but not only does the money stay in the US it actually has a good chance to stay within your community.

    as a side bar the US actually imports little oil from the middle east... some does come from south america.