OK, Ladies. You may now ATTACK.

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by Iddee, Feb 27, 2011.

  1. Iddee

    Iddee New Member

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    Winter Classes for Women at
    THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
    By Mon., January 31, 2011

    DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
    OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

    Class 1
    Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
    Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

    Class 2
    Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
    Round Table Discussion.
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3
    Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays a t 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Class 5
    Curling Irons -- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
    Examples on Video.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
    At 7:00 PM

    Class 6
    How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

    Class 7
    Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
    Open Forum.
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    Class 8
    Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 9
    I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Class 10
    How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
    Driving Simulations.
    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

    Class 11
    Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield .
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    Class 12
    How to Shop by Yourself.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
     
  2. PerryBee

    PerryBee New Member

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    Move over a bit Iddee, I think you may be too close to me! :mrgreen: :club:
     

  3. Hobie

    Hobie New Member

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    You forgot to turn the page of the brochure!

    Fall Classes for Men at the Adult Learning Center

    Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, class sizes will be limited to 8 participants maximum.

    1. How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays
    Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    2. The Toilet Paper Roll—Does it Change Itself?
    Round Table Discussion.
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    3. Is it Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
    Group Practice.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    4. Fundamental Differences between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor
    Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    5. Dinner Dishes—Can They Levitate and Fly into the Kitchen Sink?
    Examples on Video.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

    6. Loss of Identity—Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

    7. Learning How to Find Things—Starting with Looking in the Right Places and Not Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming.
    Open Forum.
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    8. Health Watch—Bringing Her Flowers is Not Harmful to Your Health.
    Graphics and Audio Tapes.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    9. Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost.
    Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    10. Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
    Driving Simulations.
    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

    11. Learning to Live—Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing.
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    12. How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
    Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    13. How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy—Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to Be Late.
    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    14. The Stove/Oven—What It Is and How It Is Used.
    Live Demonstration.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

    (Attack complete! :lol: )
     
  4. PerryBee

    PerryBee New Member

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    Hobie, you may be a little too close to me, please go stand next to Iddee! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
     
  5. srvfantexasflood

    srvfantexasflood New Member

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    This is getting good. Next?
     
  6. rast

    rast New Member

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  7. Hobie

    Hobie New Member

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