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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by Eddy Honey, Jun 23, 2012.
Last night I saw a theatrical performance about puns......it was a play on words.....:grin:
How's your wife and my baby doing?
Very Punny! :roll:
I tried out for the Olympic Fencing Team.....I got cut.
I thought I had a good deal on some bee gear, but I got stung instead!
Why is the alphabet in that order.....is it because of that song?
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I used to work at Chuck E. Cheese's....but I got bounced. (I'll stop now)
How does Moses make his tea? He-brews it.
Two bees or not two bees, that is the question.
My Job Search
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate .
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe .
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it --mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it.... couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job..
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.
15. So, I Tried retirement, and I found I'm perfect for the job!
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.The ceremonywasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2.A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, butdon't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:"A beer please, and one for the road."
6. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
" Well, It's Not Unusual."
7. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to lookat either.
8. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't findany.
9. I went to a seafood dance club last week...and pulled a mussel.
Those irritated by grain of sand best avoid beach.
I was about to comment on the same, Omie!:lol:
Took my talking bird to a bar, but they didn't serve mynahs,
Time flies like an arrow-fruit flies like a banana.
ole iddee's outdoors standing if anyone asks I tell them he's outstanding (insert drum here)
Frank and Ernest:
I took a job working for the electric company, it was empowering.
I have kleptomania,
But when it gets bad,
I take something for it.
A bartender is just a pharmacist
With a limited inventory