Real computer experts

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by Iddee, Jan 9, 2012.

  1. Iddee

    Iddee New Member

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    This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills

    Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    Customer: A white one...
    Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
    Customer: Your left or my left?
    ****************************
    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
    ****************************
    Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
    Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
    ****************************
    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
    Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
    Customer: ! OK
    Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
    Customer: Yes
    Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
    ****************************
    Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
    Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    Customer: Five dots.
    ****************************
    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    Customer: Netscape.
    Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
    Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
    ****************************
    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
    ****************************
    Tech support: How may I help you?
    Customer: I'm writing my first email.
    Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
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    This one and the next are our personal favorites!
    A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
    Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
    Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
    ****************************
    And last but not least!
    Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager..'
    Customer: I don't have a P.
    Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: What do you mean?
    Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
     
  2. Hobie

    Hobie New Member

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    :lol:
    These are getting sent to the family!