red neck timber cruiser

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by G3farms, Jan 9, 2012.

  1. G3farms

    G3farms New Member

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    A redneck from georgia decides to travel across the south to virginia
    to see god's country. When he gets to franklin , he likes the place so
    much that he decides to stay. But first he must find a job!!!

    He walks into the international paper company office and fills out an
    application as an experienced log inspector. It's his lucky day!!!
    They just happen to be looking for someone, but first, the log foreman
    takes him for a ride into the forest in the company pickup truck to
    see how much he knows.

    The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at a
    tree "see that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it
    is and how many board feet of lumber it contains."

    the redneck promptly answers, "that thar's a white pine, 383 board feet
    of lumber in 'er."

    the foreman is impressed!!! He puts the truck in motion and stops
    about a mile down the road. He points at another tree through the
    passenger window and asks the same question. This time, it's a bigger
    tree of a different class.

    "that's a lob lolly pine and she's got about 456 clear board feet."

    the foreman is really impressed with the good ol' boy, he has been
    quick and got the answers right without using a calculator!!!!

    One more test. They drive a little further down the road, and the
    foreman stops again.. This time, he points across the road through his
    driver side window and says, "and what about that one?

    before the foreman finishes pointing, the redneck says, "white oak,
    242 board feet at best."

    the foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office a
    little ticked off because he thinks the red neck is smarter than he
    is. As they near the office, another foreman stops the truck and asks
    bubba to step outside.

    He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, "see that tree over
    there?" "i want you to mark an x on the front of that tree!!"

    the foreman thinks to himself, "idiot, how would he know which is the
    front of the tree?"

    when bubba reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while
    looking at the ground. He then reaches up and places a white x on the
    trunk.

    He walks back to the foreman and hands him the chalk. "that thar's the
    front," the redneck says.

    The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, "how in the heck
    do you know that's the front of the tree?"

    the good ol' boy looks down at his feet, while rubbing the toe of his
    left boot cleaning it in the gravel and replies, "cuz somebody took a crap behind it!"
     
  2. PerryBee

    PerryBee New Member

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    :lol: :rolling: :rotfl: