SENIORS!

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by tecumseh, Jan 20, 2010.

  1. tecumseh

    tecumseh New Member

    Messages:
    6,487
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    my little sister sent me this... I guess she was thinkin' of me?

    THE CHALLENGED SENIOR

    I thought about the 36 year business I ran with 1,800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated withFacebook and Twitter.


    I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.


    That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl,Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twitterrific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.


    My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I now keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.


    The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the red Blue tooth phone thing I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife. Everyone within 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.


    The GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make aU-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead,things got . . well . . .
    it was not good.


    When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy,the GPS lady, at least she loves me.


    To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We've had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how my wife can lose three phones all at once and I have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

    The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.


    I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take them in with me.


    Now I toss it back to them..



    When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I'm bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.
     
  2. Charles

    Charles New Member

    Messages:
    1,470
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I'll be using this one! :rolling: :rotfl: :rolling:
     

  3. G3farms

    G3farms New Member

    Messages:
    5,162
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    You better say it slow though or you will be getting some funny looks..................

    G3
     
  4. cow pollinater

    cow pollinater New Member

    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ha ha... I'm thirty-one and i'm still not sure what a blackberry is. :roll: When my cellphone of ten years finally gave up I went to the verizon store and when they asked what features I used most and started rattling off things that phones can do, I told them, "I want one that doesn't beep at me while I'm walking if I put it in my pocket"... They looked at me like was the most ignorant person on the planet...
    So now I have a new phone. It takes pictures but I'm not sure how. It beeps alot whe I walk so I just leave it in the truck most of the time. :thumbsup:
     
  5. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

    Messages:
    1,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Not sure what the big deal is about growing old. I think the biggest negative, is that they will expect me to wear adult diapers. :roll: What a bummer..... :lol:
     
  6. Iddee

    Iddee New Member

    Messages:
    8,996
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    The worst thing about getting old is..er...ah.... Now what was I going to say?
     
  7. tecumseh

    tecumseh New Member

    Messages:
    6,487
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    well I personally don't mind growing old as long as I don't think old.

    they say iddee that your vision is the second thing to go and yet no one will tell you what goes first.
     
  8. Iddee

    Iddee New Member

    Messages:
    8,996
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Hearing, Tec. Hearing....... I HOPE!!!
     
  9. G3farms

    G3farms New Member

    Messages:
    5,162
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Hearing and eyes for sure I will only be 47 this year and both are going south fast.

    Hearing from too much shooting as a kid.

    My wife says my eyes went bad from staring at too many "other" wimmens........................ and then the fight started!!

    G3
     
  10. Charles

    Charles New Member

    Messages:
    1,470
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Shoot, my wife points em out to me, the fight doesn't start till I say hello :club:
     
  11. G3farms

    G3farms New Member

    Messages:
    5,162
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Charles I did not think you were so old you could not even see a good lookin' woman any more :lol:

    G3
     
  12. tecumseh

    tecumseh New Member

    Messages:
    6,487
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    snip..
    Hearing....... I HOPE!!!

    tecumseh:
    huh!
     
  13. Charles

    Charles New Member

    Messages:
    1,470
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    She's the eye's in the back of my head :Dancing:
     
  14. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

    Messages:
    1,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    That red spot is not an eye...it's just the place she keeps smacking you... :lol:
     
  15. Charles

    Charles New Member

    Messages:
    1,470
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I was wondering why it hurt all the time :lol: