Southern Home Security System

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by rast, Mar 21, 2010.

  1. rast

    rast New Member

    Messages:
    1,042
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
    1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

    2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

    3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

    4. Splash a little watered down rusty red paint on the sidewalk.

    5. Leave a note on your door that reads:

    "Bubba,

    Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

    Better wait outside. Be right back.

    Cooter"
     
  2. Iddee

    Iddee New Member

    Messages:
    8,996
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    That's the way it's done. :thumbsup:
     

  3. Charles

    Charles New Member

    Messages:
    1,470
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Best security system I ever heard of :drinks:
     
  4. Mama Beek

    Mama Beek New Member

    Messages:
    1,053
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Hmmm, that is so doable for us!! XLB has extremely large boots :p We can also add a small pile of used shotgun shells to the mix.
     
  5. G3farms

    G3farms New Member

    Messages:
    5,162
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    that is just what I was thinking also.
     
  6. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

    Messages:
    1,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Good one.

    Of course we need to assume bubba could write.... :lol:
     
  7. Hobie

    Hobie New Member

    Messages:
    1,399
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    No, Bubba only needs to know how to read. Cooter has to be able to write, and he's the smart one.
     
  8. BjornBee

    BjornBee New Member

    Messages:
    1,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Now don't get too complex. That would of slid by, if you had not pointed it out.... :thumbsup: