When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side...PG-13' started by Charles, Jan 20, 2010.

  1. Charles

    Charles New Member

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    When you have an 'I Hate My Job day' (Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days)

    Try this out:

    Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.. Be very sure you get this brand.

    When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

    Now the fun part begins.

    Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

    "Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."

    Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'

    THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS!

    ...Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...

    Then you are just an old sour fart; Maybe you should go and work for Johnson and Johnson
     
  2. G3farms

    G3farms New Member

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    YIKES...............well I guess everybody needs a job.

    G3
     

  3. Iddee

    Iddee New Member

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    Just think about the one that cow pollinator buys his supplies from.... They have to collect it someway.
     
  4. G3farms

    G3farms New Member

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    :rolling: :rolling: :rotfl: :rotfl: It's not quite like that Iddee!!

    In my opinion it is worse putting it in the cow, you are up to your elbow.

    G3
     
  5. cow pollinater

    cow pollinater New Member

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    HA!
    I've never minded putting it in the cow.
    The trained bulls are actually collected hands-off... My company does the whole thing with dogs and mechanics. The only safe bull is the one on the end of my AI gun :thumbsup:... Of course then they all have to put with MY additude which at times can be somewhat more obnoxious than a real bull's. :wave:

    True story: for un-trained bulls there is a "magic bullet" which looks like an artillary shell with heavy guage wire lined up one side and hanging off the back which attaches to a battery that is designed to stimulate the bull the hard way.
    My first year at a big cowboy outfit out here I was more than just a little nervous when it came time to work the bulls. We had to check their semen before we turned them out. The plan was to pull them out of the back seven pens and run them through the chute where they would be examined and then into the same pen we were all working in... The bulls had been there for two nights and the back seven pens were in splinters and you couldn't step into a pen without something coming after you. MEAN...
    Well working day came and it took three of us horseback in the back to bring up the bulls and two guys with hotshots to get them into the chute where the manager and one vet would ejaculate them and turn them out into the same corral where they were standing...They went from all fight to gentle little lambs...
    We wound up with the back seven corrals destroyed with the bulls in small groups to all of them in one corral without a single broken board....
    MAKE LOOOVE NOT WAAAR MAAAN! :yahoo:
    :yahoo: :yahoo:
     
  6. G3farms

    G3farms New Member

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    Funny what a little romance will do for a fella, no matter what.

    When I went to AI school we had the best time, it was a three day school, 1 day in the class room and 2 in the barn (or I guess you could say in the cow). One of the sale barns is where we had the class and used what cows were brought in for the Wed. night sale. Had everything from old broken down cows to holsteins to some so wild could not hardly get them in a chute (did most just haltered and tied up in groups to a post). Had some real charaters in the class and just laughed all day, had a great time. Nothing like runny cow farts blowing in your face, or a good smack in the face with her "green" switch.

    G3